Family and Work: The Family's Perspective
9 Wishes
9.1 Children's Wishes
9.2 Parents' Views
9.3 Conclusions
9.1 Children's Wishes
Galinsky asked children what they would wish to change about their parents' work and family lives. The children were offered a choice of one of ten responses ("more time/less stressed/less tired/work closer to home/work less/work at home/make more money/have different boss/other/wouldn't change anything"). 23% of the children wished that their mother would make more money, 20% wished their mother would be less stressed, 14% wished their mother would be less tired, and 10% wished their mother would spend more time with them.
Galinsky noted that the proportions of parents in her sample that thought their children would wish for time was much greater than was observed in the sample of children. Because the answers were simply circling one option among several, Galinsky speculated about why children had given the answers they had. The significance of money may relate to children being materialistic for their own personal advantage, or it may relate to a sense of financial pressure that parents may speak of when talking about their work. The latter interpretation would be supported by the fact that the second and third most common response related to stress and being tired. These children all seem to be indicating that they would like their parents to have "better" jobs – better paid and less stressful.
Children's wishes with regards to fathers followed a different pattern. After the first response of wishing for more money, 15.5% of the children wished their father would spend more time with them, with the next most common responses referring to fathers being less stressed and tired. The fact that the children in Galinsky's sample were more likely to indicate a wish to spend more time with fathers most likely reflects the fact that so many more men worked full-time.
In the present study, when children were asked what they might wish to change, they were able to display their awareness of just how closely connected the issues of time, money, stress and tiredness are.
My one wish would be that they only had to work part-time but still got the same money. They'd be more relaxed and not so stressed and they, I guess would do more things you like, they might make me something to eat when you get home, or make your lunch before you go to school, something like that.
[boy, 12]
That Mum works less so I can go out to places and see my friends. She would be home to know that I'm going somewhere.
[girl, 10]
For Dad, that he shouldn't go to work much. Not much, but I mean not so early at 3 o'clock in the morning. Before he used to have his holidays on Saturdays and Sundays, but now Monday s and Tuesday s, so I don't get to see him much and that and Mum, that she doesn't work so much in the house.
[girl, 11]
That they didn't have to go as often maybe you could say.
[boy, 10]
Well, their work doesn't really affect me very much, but probably something that they wanted to do, like a job that they liked or something.
[girl, 12]
For them not to work and we'd get money anyway.
[boy, 10]
Probably that he would like make lots of money but he didn't have to work.
[boy, 8]
As well as being asked what they would change if they could have any wish, the children were asked: If your family had all the money it could ever need, would you change anything about the way your parents work?
Some children said that they would have things stay the same, although they might benefit personally from the money.
No. Everything would just about stay the same apart from the fact that I'd probably have more treats and we would probably have a trip around the world.
[boy, 10]
I think they need something to do. Dad's 50, Mum's only like 47, they've got 30 or 40 years to live. I think it would be very boring doing nothing. I'm sure they could do it, but I think if they were home all the time, then I think it would be very bad. You want to get that sort of freedom. I would prefer them to keep working and I think they enjoy it also.
[boy, 17]
The link between money and work was strong for some children, who suggested that they would wish that their parents would stop working if they had a lot of money.
If they had heaps of money they could retire and would still have enough money to last us. That would be good because they would have more time to spare and we'd be able to go camping for a longer period and wouldn't have to worry about when they are working and the wouldn't be so frantic.
[boy, 12]
It they had the money not to work, then I'm sure they would rather stop than keep working, but I think that if they had the money to (stop they would).
[boy, 15]
The parents of these two brothers wished for the same thing, however this was not the most common response.
Some children wished that their parents could find different jobs - jobs that the children thought would be better for the parents.
A different job. Something more advanced than her other job. [Would you think that she'd work more hours, or it would just be that it was a different job?] Yeah, same if we have all the money we need. But if she stopped working then you might fall back in that hole again.
[boy, 11]
I'd change her job. [What sort of thing would you change it to?] At home. Work that you work at home. Because then she could have breaks by herself and she could stop and relax and she would have time by herself and she would have the computer. She could do what she wants in the house.
[girl, 11]
Most children said that they would wish for their parents to work less. They revealed an understanding of the intrinsic rewards that work may bring when they said that they did not think that their parents would want to stop working altogether. Some talked about doing things with their parents in the extra time they would be available, and, once again, these tended to be regular, daily activities.
I think they'd stop working. Actually I don't think they would because they'd just be incredibly bored, they'd probably work less, I think, that's what they'd do.
[boy, 11]
Knowing them, they would probably keep on going if they had heaps of money. [Why do you think that is?] I reckon they're just really enthusiastic about their work – they keep on telling us – when you're in school, don't drop out at Year 10 or 11 or something, because it won't get you anywhere. If we had all the money in the world – they'd probably still keep on working. [Is that what you'd want also?] Yeah, but I'd probably be asking for more stuff.
[boy, 13]
About similar to school, about 6 ½ hours a day. [What would you do after school times?] Probably spend time with them and talk to them.
[boy, 11]
Yeah, I think she could change jobs, because this is her second job which isn't to do with a law firm, and I think she enjoys law firms. So I think it would be better for her to work in a law firm, because she's used to it and she knows how to dress. … And I think she could work not as much - like a bit less, like an hour or so. Because I think that's all it takes, just a tiny little amount.
[boy, 13]
Probably not. Or maybe her hours, because she gets up too early, and she would probably have to work only about a couple of hours here and there; probably get casual work or…I think she'd still like to work if we got rich. Yeah, I think she'd like to work. [Why?] Because she's been working for most of her life, just socializing out there, doing other things – I mean, you get people that are sitting here, doing nothing, or whatever. So she feels that she's got to do something.
[girl, 16]
Yes I would change that they didn't have to work as long. [probe] Definitely not at all, but working sometimes maybe 4, 5 days a week, maybe even 3 and more money for lots of things.
[boy, 11]
9.2 Parents' Views
Some of the parents talked about cutting back hours, but very few said that they would stop working entirely. Several who did say that they would quit their jobs, said that they would do volunteer work instead. Some parents said it would give them the opportunity to give up the kind of work that they were currently doing and try something else without putting the family's financial position at risk.
9.3 Conclusions
When the details of their wishes were considered, the responses of parents and children from the same family were seen to be very similar. Most wishes related to reducing the perceived negative impacts of work in some way, usually by reference to working fewer hours. However, it was noticeable that there was not a clear relationship between what parents and children wished for and the parent's current employment status. That is, some of the parents working part-time agreed with their children that it would be desirable if they stopped working or worked at a different job, just as some of the parents working full-time agreed with their children that they would probably not change much at all if they had a free choice. Overall, however, most parents and children talked about working less and/or reducing stress by changing jobs.
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- My one wish would be that they only had to work part-time but still got the same money. They'd be more relaxed and not so stressed and they, I guess would do more things you like, they might make me something to eat when you get home, or make your lunch before you go to school, something like that.
[boy, 12]
That Mum works less so I can go out to places and see my friends. She would be home to know that I'm going somewhere.
[girl, 10]
For Dad, that he shouldn't go to work much. Not much, but I mean not so early at 3 o'clock in the morning. Before he used to have his holidays on Saturdays and Sundays, but now Monday s and Tuesday s, so I don't get to see him much and that and Mum, that she doesn't work so much in the house.
[girl, 11]
That they didn't have to go as often maybe you could say.
[boy, 10]
Well, their work doesn't really affect me very much, but probably something that they wanted to do, like a job that they liked or something.
[girl, 12]
For them not to work and we'd get money anyway.
[boy, 10]
Probably that he would like make lots of money but he didn't have to work.
[boy, 8]
- No. Everything would just about stay the same apart from the fact that I'd probably have more treats and we would probably have a trip around the world.
[boy, 10]
I think they need something to do. Dad's 50, Mum's only like 47, they've got 30 or 40 years to live. I think it would be very boring doing nothing. I'm sure they could do it, but I think if they were home all the time, then I think it would be very bad. You want to get that sort of freedom. I would prefer them to keep working and I think they enjoy it also.
[boy, 17]
- If they had heaps of money they could retire and would still have enough money to last us. That would be good because they would have more time to spare and we'd be able to go camping for a longer period and wouldn't have to worry about when they are working and the wouldn't be so frantic.
[boy, 12]
It they had the money not to work, then I'm sure they would rather stop than keep working, but I think that if they had the money to (stop they would).
[boy, 15]
- A different job. Something more advanced than her other job. [Would you think that she'd work more hours, or it would just be that it was a different job?] Yeah, same if we have all the money we need. But if she stopped working then you might fall back in that hole again.
[boy, 11]
I'd change her job. [What sort of thing would you change it to?] At home. Work that you work at home. Because then she could have breaks by herself and she could stop and relax and she would have time by herself and she would have the computer. She could do what she wants in the house.
[girl, 11]
- I think they'd stop working. Actually I don't think they would because they'd just be incredibly bored, they'd probably work less, I think, that's what they'd do.
[boy, 11]
Knowing them, they would probably keep on going if they had heaps of money. [Why do you think that is?] I reckon they're just really enthusiastic about their work – they keep on telling us – when you're in school, don't drop out at Year 10 or 11 or something, because it won't get you anywhere. If we had all the money in the world – they'd probably still keep on working. [Is that what you'd want also?] Yeah, but I'd probably be asking for more stuff.
[boy, 13]
- About similar to school, about 6 ½ hours a day. [What would you do after school times?] Probably spend time with them and talk to them.
[boy, 11]
- Yeah, I think she could change jobs, because this is her second job which isn't to do with a law firm, and I think she enjoys law firms. So I think it would be better for her to work in a law firm, because she's used to it and she knows how to dress. … And I think she could work not as much - like a bit less, like an hour or so. Because I think that's all it takes, just a tiny little amount.
[boy, 13]
- Probably not. Or maybe her hours, because she gets up too early, and she would probably have to work only about a couple of hours here and there; probably get casual work or…I think she'd still like to work if we got rich. Yeah, I think she'd like to work. [Why?] Because she's been working for most of her life, just socializing out there, doing other things – I mean, you get people that are sitting here, doing nothing, or whatever. So she feels that she's got to do something.
[girl, 16]
Yes I would change that they didn't have to work as long. [probe] Definitely not at all, but working sometimes maybe 4, 5 days a week, maybe even 3 and more money for lots of things.
[boy, 11]